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Writer's pictureTamara Messner

5 Tips to Connect With Your Loved Ones in Spirit

A good mediumship session can offer amazing validation that our loved ones in spirit are still with us, but there are other ways you can connect without having to see a medium. Here's a few tips to help you continue that connection on your own.


1) Talk To Them


Your loved ones in spirit are around you all the time. They're not necessarily watching your every move with popcorn in hand like they're at the movies or something, but when you talk to them or are thinking heavily about them they feel the pull and pay attention. It's okay to talk to them like they're listening, because they are. You're not crazy! Our loved ones in spirit love when we talk to them and it frequently comes up in readings. It's not uncommon to have them bring up how they hear us when we talk to them on the drive to work in the morning, how someone still says goodnight to them before falling asleep every night, or how someone honored their loved one's memory by including them at a wedding or family reunion. What makes them, them continues to live on despite losing their physical body and they love when we recognize that.


2) Mindfulness Meditation


Meditation has never been one of my favorite things to do. Life is busy and it's always been hard, sometimes impossible, for me to hit the pause button for 15 - 20 minutes a day. I know I'm not the only one, but the benefits that come from sitting down and giving yourself some quiet time each day are undeniable. Literally... there's been studies done.

One of those benefits is that you begin to recognize your energy and the energy of things around you better, including your loved ones in spirit. The energy of spirit is light and subtle. If your mind is constantly focused on the loud hustle and bustle of the day, it's easily missed. You can start with just 5 minutes a day if that's all you have. Just take 5 minutes a day to find a quiet place and focus on your breathing. That's it! Every time you start to feel your mind drifting away with a thought, bring your attention back to the breath. Eventually you'll be able to let the thoughts pass by like clouds on a cloudy day without having to jump on the cloud and fly away with it. Try adding more time each day until you reach a level that works for you. If that method of meditation doesn't work for you then I encourage you to find a method that does. There are many different types of meditation such as progressive relaxation, guided, focused, transcendental, movement, and more!


3) Pay Attention to Your Dreams


One way that our loved ones try to connect with us is through our dreams. These are commonly referred to as "visitation" dreams. There's TONS of people who have reported having these dreams and there's a few things they usually have in common.

People report these dreams are more lucid, vivid, and realistic than others. It's less common to have weird things happen in them, like a table turning into a dog or your loved ones face morphing into Mickey Mouse. You usually have more control over what you do in them as well. You might even remember mid-dream that the loved one you're talking with has passed and ask them what they're doing there. These dreams are usually more easily recalled too. Someone who has a hard time remembering their dreams in general may be able to vividly recall one of these dreams months or even years after having it. These dreams are ALWAYS positive though. I think it's common to have nightmares after losing someone close to you. Please don't confuse these nightmares with visitation dreams. Your loved one would never come visit you just to scare you or tell you something negative. In fact, another thing these dreams almost always have in common is that they leave you waking up with a strong feeling of euphoria and love.


Please don't get discouraged if you've lost someone and haven't had a "visitation" dream. There are lots of reasons why this may not have happened yet and none of them are you or your loved one's fault. I won't pretend to know all the reasons why some people don't have these dreams. There's lots of theories out there but there's no way we can know for sure. One thing I can guarantee you though is that it's not because your loved one doesn't care. One theory is that being in a state of profound grief affects our energy and makes it harder to receive communication from those in spirit. We never "get over" the loss of a loved one, but if you find yourself in a state of grief so severe that it's affecting your ability to function in your day-to-day life then it's important to focus on your healing. I'm a big advocate for talk therapy. I would suggest seeking a "grief counselor" as they're specially trained to help people work through the grief process. It could also be that you just haven't had one yet. Some people have them minutes after their loves ones have passed and some have them years and years after. There are different reasons for the timing of all of them and I'm betting most of those reasons are beyond our comprehension.


4) Ask for Signs


Another way to connect is to ask your loved one to send you a sign. Common ways for them to communicate with us are through nature, electronics, small objects (like coins, crystals, or feathers), or by bringing our attention to certain things at certain times.

When I first started getting into this stuff I asked my guide to send me a blue butterfly. I explained to my guide that I was skeptical, so I would need to see it 3 times in a row to know it was the real deal. I told them I wanted to see this sign by the end of the day. A few hours later as I walked by one of the cubicles at work, I noticed they had little butterfly decorations pinned to their wall. There were different colored ones, about 7 or 8 of them. Can you guess how many blue ones there were? There were 3! I laughed at how clever that was because I had no idea how they were going to send me 3 blue butterflies in January in Northern Minnesota by the end of the day, but I remained open to the different ways spirit might do it. I also had that gut feeling/knowing along with it that I now know was my intuition saying "Hey! This is your sign!." I encourage you to try this with your loved ones in spirit. Maybe don't make them jump through as many hoops as I had my guide jump through but they'll surprise you sometimes, as I learned.


5) Trust Yourself


Last but certainly not least, trust yourself! I don't even know how many readings I've given where loved ones have come through to say, "That really was me you felt in the car with you that day on your way to work" or "Yes, that really was me you felt when you were in the kitchen a few weeks ago baking bread." The person I'm reading for usually always says, "I KNEW that was them. I just brushed it off thinking I was making things up." It certainly helps to receive that extra validation that you're not making things up, but give your own intuitive abilities some credit and trust yourself. This is really common with receiving signs from spirit also. I could have easily brushed off those 3 butterflies by saying, "Well they weren't REAL butterflies" or something to that effect, but as Stuart Chase once put so well, "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who do not, no proof is possible." In other words, if you're bound and determined not to believe it... no sign or evidence may be good enough. In the end, some trust may be necessary.


If you have any stories of signs or communications you've received from loved ones in spirit I'd love to hear them! Leave a comment below! Thanks for reading!

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